Have you ever had questions about what might be going on with an older loved one’s health? But then you find that your older relative is unable — or unwilling — to let you in on the health details?
Or maybe you’ve wanted to talk to your parent’s doctor, but worried that doing so might be a HIPAA violation?
Such issues come up often for the family caregivers of aging adults. Common situations include:
- An older parent who starts to act in ways that are strange or worrisome, such as becoming paranoid or delusional.
- An older adult who seems to be physically or mentally declining, but seems reluctant to discuss the situation
- A hospitalization or emergency room visit
- A hospitalized older person becoming confused (this would be delirium) and becoming no longer able to explain to family what the doctors have said
In these situations, family caregivers often find themselves grappling with issues related to the HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) Privacy Rule.
Why all the grappling?
Well, although most people — and all clinicians — have heard of HIPAA, its rules and requirements are often misunderstood. So for instance, families may assume that it’s a HIPAA violation to report a relative’s worrisome behavior to the doctor, because their relative hasn’t given them permission to do so.
Even worse: doctors and other clinicians sometimes refuse to disclose any information to families, and will incorrectly claim that it’s a HIPAA violation to do so. This can create extra confusion and stress for families, or can even sometimes put an older person at risk for harm.
If you’ve been concerned about an aging parent’s health, or are otherwise helping someone with their health concerns, then it can be very helpful to understand HIPAA better. HIPAA regulations will also govern your access to medical records and other important health information.
In fact, the American Bar Association includes “Know your rights of access to health information” among its Ten Legal Tips for Caregivers.
The detailed ins and outs of HIPAA can indeed be hard to fully understand. But, it’s not too hard to learn some practical basics, especially since the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) provides a Summary of the Privacy Rule here, and maintains a truly useful set of online FAQs about HIPAA here.
In this article, I’ll explain five useful key basics to help you understand HIPAA better, especially when it comes to getting information and medical records as a family caregiver.
I’ll also address five questions I’ve often heard family caregivers ask about HIPAA.
At the end, I’ll share some of my favorite online HIPAA resources, as well as some final tips to keep in mind.
5 Key Basics About HIPAA
1. What is HIPAA?
The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) is a federal law passed in 1996. Among other things, HIPAA required the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to create a federal “Privacy Rule” for health providers and health plans, governing how these entities must protect the privacy of an individual’s medical information.
Usually, when people refer to HIPAA, they are actually referring to the HIPAA Privacy Rule created by HHS.
The HIPAA Privacy Rule basically says that “covered entities” must take certain steps to keep a person’s health information confidential and secure.
“Covered entities” means health providers, health insurers, and many other professionals whose daily work involves the handling of individuals’ medical information.
Private citizens and family caregivers are not “covered” by the Privacy Rule. This means that you do not have to maintain your — or your older parent’s — health information confidential in the same way that health providers do.
Exactly how “covered entities” should comply with the Privacy Rule can get pretty complicated to explain. What is most important for you to know is that this often — but not always — means taking steps to make sure that patients are in agreement, before their health information is shared with other people.
Overall, HIPAA is intended to balance a person’s right to privacy with the need for health providers to share medical records and otherwise communicate with others, in order to properly care for a patient and act in the patient’s best interest.
To read about the rule in more technical detail, see here: Summary of the HIPAA Privacy Rule.
To read a good plain-English summary of your rights (as an individual) under HIPAA, see here: Your Rights Under HIPAA.
2. What information is protected by HIPAA?
HIPAA’s Privacy Rule protects all “individually identifiable health information” held or transmitted by a covered entity, no matter what form it is in. So HIPAA applies whether a person’s health information is held or disclosed electronically, orally, or in written form.
A person’s health information is often referred to as “protected health information” (PHI). This covers information that relates to:
- a person’s past, present or future physical or mental health or conditions
- any health care provided to a person (e.g. clinical notes or lab results related to a person’s medical care)
- past, present, or future payments related to a person’s health care (e.g. billing records)
In other words, this is information created by, or stored by, healthcare providers and insurers, such as medical records.
HIPAA also covers demographic data and any information that can be used to identify a person, such as names and addresses.
If you are a family caregiver, remember that you are not a “covered entity.” Hence you aren’t responsible for protecting health information in the same way that your relative’s doctor is.
3. What to know about HIPAA’s rules on the disclosing of protected health information without committing a HIPAA violation
You’ll be able to sort out what is and isn’t a HIPAA violation more easily if you understand a few fundamentals about HIPAA’s rules on these issues.
According to the HHS Summary of the HIPAA Privacy Rule: “A covered entity may not use or disclose protected health information, except either:
(1) as the Privacy Rule permits or requires; or
(2) as the individual who is the subject of the information (or the individual’s personal representative) authorizes in writing.”
In other words, doctors are allowed to disclose health information if a person authorizes it in writing, or if the Privacy rule otherwise permits or requires such disclosure.
Now, let’s address the difference between being required and being permitted to disclose, because that is really at the heart of a lot of HIPAA confusion.
The difference is that when doctors are required to disclose, then they have to do it, whether or not they want to.
Whereas when they are permitted to disclose, they are allowed to do it, but they don’t have to. (Which means, they might refuse to do it, and they are legally allowed to do so, unless other federal, state, or local laws apply.)
You now probably will want to know: under what circumstances are health providers required or permitted to disclose health information?
Required disclosures of health information. Health providers must disclose protected health information in these two situations:
- When individuals — or their personal representatives — request access to their protected health information. Individuals can also request an accounting of disclosures, which means the covered entity has to tell a person with whom the information was shared.
- When the Department of Health and Human Services requests information, as part of a compliance audit or enforcement investigation.
In short: if you request it, your doctors must give you copies of your medical records. This is known as the “Right of Access.” You can learn more about your rights to view or obtain copies of your health information here: Individuals’ Right under HIPAA to Access their Health Information.
And if you are the durable power of attorney for healthcare for your relative, and if you are currently authorized to act, you have the right to request and obtain your relative’s health information.
Permitted disclosures of health information. Under certain circumstances, health providers are allowed — but not required — to disclose information, without obtaining the patient’s written permission.
Now here’s where things start getting trickier, because the list of permitted circumstances is much longer and more complicated than the list of required disclosures.
If you want to learn about all the permitted disclosures and uses, you can do so by reading the HHS Summary of the Privacy Rule.
But I think it’s more useful to learn from the FAQs that HHS has published online, especially the ones created to guide doctors and other healthcare professionals. I will share some of the more useful ones in the next section, when I address FAQs based on the questions I’ve had people ask me.
For now, the main thing you should know is this: in many cases, health providers are allowed, but not required, to disclose health information to others, even if a patient doesn’t give written or verbal permission for this.
As you will see below, when we go through some FAQs, doctors are allowed to use their clinical judgment and disclose information when a patient lacks capacity to give consent, if the clinician decides that the disclosure is in the best interest of the patient.
4. What to know about HIPAA’s “minimum necessary” requirement
The HIPAA Privacy Rule describes a principle of “minimum necessary” use and disclosure:
“A covered entity must make reasonable efforts to use, disclose, and request only the minimum amount of protected health information needed to accomplish the intended purpose of the use, disclosure, or request.”
Basically, this means that when health providers disclose health information to someone other than the patient, they can’t just disclose anything and everything about their patient’s health. Instead, they should only share on a “need to know” basis, and focus on what’s relevant and necessary.
Note that the minimum necessary requirement does not apply to all disclosures. The Privacy Rule summary lists six situations as exempt, including “disclosure to or a request by a health care provider for treatment.”
In short, if your doctor refers you to another doctor, she can send your whole medical chart along. But, if a doctor is speaking to your family while you are sick in the hospital, the doctor is only allowed to disclose what is necessary and relevant to your current hospitalization and care needs.
5. What is a “HIPAA release”?
Many health providers and other covered entities will require a person to sign a written authorization, before they disclose protected health information. This is sometimes called a HIPAA release, a HIPAA waiver, or a release of information authorization.
Interestingly, the HIPAA Privacy rule itself does not require health providers to do this. Instead, per the Summary:
“Obtaining ‘consent’ (written permission from individuals to use and disclose their protected health information for treatment, payment, and health care operations) is optional under the Privacy Rule for all covered entities. The content of a consent form, and the process for obtaining consent, are at the discretion of the covered entity electing to seek consent.”
In other words, although it’s extremely common for health providers to ask patients to sign written authorizations before disclosing health information, such written consent is not actually required by HIPAA.
Instead, a requirement for written consent usually reflects a clinic’s policies, or perhaps the preference of an individual clinician. Understandably, clinicians want to avoid HIPAA violations or otherwise being accused of failing to protect a patient’s confidentiality.
5 Caregiver FAQs about HIPAA and avoiding HIPAA violations
1. Is written permission always required by HIPAA, for a doctor to be able to talk to me about my older parent’s health?
Nope! As noted above, for permitted disclosures of health information, HIPAA does not require that a patient give written permission.
Instead, clinicians are allowed to use a patient’s verbal consent.
HIPAA also says it’s ok for clinicians to give patients an opportunity to object and to proceed if they don’t object, or even to “reasonably infer, based on professional judgment, that the patient does not object.”
Personally, I have often spoken to a patient’s adult children on the phone, because the patient told me it was okay to do so. However, I usually document in my clinical note that the patient said it was fine to talk to his or her children.
Last but not least, if a patient is not present or if it’s “impracticable because of emergency circumstances or the patient’s incapacity for the covered entity to ask the patient about discussing her care or payment with a family member or other person,” HIPAA says that clinicians can disclose information if they determine that doing so is in the best interest of the patient.
In short, HIPAA allows health providers to have a lot of leeway, when it comes to disclosing medical information to family and others. However, those disclosures will usually have to comply with the “minimum necessary” rule.
Most state laws are similar to HIPAA, but in some states, requirements may be more stringent.
You can find more details through these FAQs:
2. Can doctors talk to me about my older parent’s health during an emergency?
Yes, HIPAA allows this type of disclosure. So doctors are permitted to update you about your parent’s health during an emergency.
Furthermore, HIPAA does not require providers to ask family caregivers for proof of identity, before disclosing information.
That said, just because doctors are permitted to disclose information to you doesn’t mean they have to do it. As this FAQ notes, “a health care provider is not required by HIPAA to share a patient’s information when the patient is not present or is incapacitated, and can choose to wait until the patient has an opportunity to agree to the disclosure.”
For more information:
3. My older parent doesn’t want his doctor to talk to me. What can I do?
This question tends to come up when a family has become concerned about an older person’s mental and/or physical decline. Some older adults will resist their family’s desire to communicate with the doctor. So what can be done?
First of all, as a family member, remember that you are not a “covered entity.” So whether or not a doctor is permitted to disclose information to you, HIPAA does not prevent you from contacting your parent’s doctor and relaying any concerns or information you have.
You can even ask questions; the doctor probably won’t answer them, but it’s good for your parent’s doctor to know what kind of questions your family has.
Otherwise, if your parent has specifically told his doctor to not talk to you, then there are a couple of angles you can consider:
- Consider the possibility of incapacity. HIPAA does permit doctors to disclose information to family when a patient is incapacitated or otherwise unable to consent to the disclosure.
- If you think your parent might be incapacitated by cognitive decline, delirium, or another medical problem, ask the doctor to consider this.
- You can start by voicing concerns in a phone call, but it’s best to eventually put them in writing, because your letter will normally end up scanned into your parent’s medical chart. Be sure to include information on concerning behaviors of incidents that you have observed (such as any of these: 8 Behaviors to Take Note of if You Think Someone Might Have Alzheimer’s).
- You can learn more about incapacity here: Incompetence & Losing Capacity: Answers to 7 FAQs
- Has anyone been designated as durable power of attorney for healthcare? HIPAA allows a patient’s representative to request medical records and health information.
- Check any durable power of attorney documentation to see under what circumstances the agent has authority to act. Most documents require the older person to be incapacitated, but some allow the agent to act right away.
Of course, even if you are legally permitted to seek information about your parent’s health, your parent is likely to be angry about your doing so. The decision to override an older person’s decision or preferences is a serious one, and should only be considered under special circumstances.
If you have good reason to believe your parent’s insight and judgment are impaired, then it may be ethically reasonable to override their preference for privacy and take actions that will help them achieve their health and safety goals. Just be sure to think through the benefits and risks of your available options carefully, before you proceed.
Of course, what is better is that older adults plan ahead and tell their children what they should do if their older parent ever seems to be ill or mentally impaired, and refuses assistance. But as most older adults don’t get around to doing this, family caregivers do sometimes have to consider some difficult trade-offs when it comes to privacy versus health, safety, or other goals.
Relevant HIPAA FAQs and other information:
Incompetence & Losing Capacity: Answers to 7 FAQs
4. Does a power of attorney for healthcare give me the right to access my parent’s health information?
HIPAA gives a patient’s authorized “personal representative” the right to access information and medical records. A personal representative is defined as a person authorized, under State or other applicable law, to act on behalf of the individual in making health care related decisions.
So yes, if you are the durable power of attorney for healthcare, then you will have a right to access your parent’s health information, provided you are currently authorized to act.
A power of attorney document should specify under what conditions the agent can act. Some are “springing,” which means the agent can only act if the “principal” (the person signing the document) is incapacitated.
But other durable power of attorney documents may allow the agent to have authority to act right away. In this case, you can act unless there is a conflict with what the principal says (assuming the principal has not been deemed incapacitated).
For more information:
Guidance: Personal Representatives
Individuals’ Right under HIPAA to Access their Health Information
Addressing Medical, Legal, & Financial Advance Care Planning
5. My parents want their doctors to share health information with me. How can we make sure the doctors do this?
The best approach is for your parents to bring this up with their doctors and ask what should be documented, to ensure this.
Even though HIPAA itself does not require patients to provide written authorization in order to disclose information to family, clinicians usually feel more comfortable disclosing information if the patient has put something in writing. Many clinics have forms available for this purpose.
Another thing to consider is having your parents designate you as durable power of attorney for health. Consider having your parent indicate that your authority is effective immediately, rather than upon incapacity. (This is an option on health POA forms in California.) This will confirm your status as their “personal representive,” when it comes to requesting access to their medical information.
For more information:
More Useful HIPAA Resources
I’ve tried to cover the practical basics for caregivers in this article, but of course, there’s a lot more to HIPAA and medical privacy. As of 2020, there has also been additional guidance provided related to COVID, which you can find here: HIPAA and COVID-19.
Here are some of my favorite resources.
HIPAA Resource List
HIPAA FAQs for Professionals: Disclosures to Family and Friends
California Civil Code (regarding disclosures to family): CHAPTER 2. Disclosure of Medical Information by Providers
Individuals’ Right under HIPAA to Access their Health Information (Includes FAQs)
Next Step in Care Guide: HIPAA: Questions and Answers for Family Caregivers
Final Tips
Here are a few final tips for you to keep in mind, if you ever want to talk to a doctor about a relative’s healthcare.
- Plan ahead if possible.
- Older people should consider how their family might be able to communicate with doctors in the event of an emergency, or even in the event of developing memory or thinking problems.
- Find out how your family’s usual doctors and health providers will be most comfortable disclosing health information. Complete release of information forms ahead of time if possible.
- Every older person should complete a durable power of attorney form for healthcare. Consider giving the agent authority to act immediately; this will enable the agent to request medical records even if the older person has not been proven to be incapacitated.
- Consider researching your state’s laws governing disclosure of health information to family and friends.
- Many states have laws similar to HIPAA, but some may impose additional restrictions.
- Be prepared to politely help inform clinicians of what HIPAA permits. Some clinicians may not realize that HIPAA does allow them to talk to you about your relative’s health, depending on the circumstances.
- Consider printing out a copy of the relevant HHS HIPAA FAQs for Professionals: Disclosures to Family and Friends.
- For a good NPR story confirming that hospital employees and health providers often do NOT understand your access rights: It’s Your Right To See Your Medical Records. It Shouldn’t Be This Hard To Do.
- Remember that although HIPAA permits clinicians to disclose information under many circumstances, such disclosures are not required. Clinicians are only required to disclose health information when a patient — or authorized representative — requests this, based on the patient’s right of access.
This article was last reviewed and updated in July of 2024.
Jamie Benton says
Hello, my mother has given me full poa and recently her pain doctors office (office manager) has implemented a rule of only patients allowed back even though my mother wants me in the exam room because she knows she is forgetful. Can they ignore her request and poa?
Nicole Didyk, MD says
I suppose a private office can have a policy like the one you describe, but in my practice, as long as it’s OK with the patient, they can have whomever they want in an appointment. It may be an infection control issue right now?
I would explore, in a cheerful and co-operative way, whether an exception could be made for your mom. It would probably help to have you there and would make the provider’s job easier.
Aurora says
I was told I needed someone there to drive me home and she volunteered. I expected her to wait in the waiting room not to come in the back where they discuss things I decided to do with my body.
Kelly G. says
I had gone to a doctor and had a procedure completed; I had issues after the procedure and needed to go to another doctor. I was not happy with the first office I had gone to talked to doctor B about it. I found out, through reading my medical notes, that doctor A talked to doctor B and wrote letters to doctor B. Neither doctor ever told me they spoke; The medical records doesn’t note what was discussed, only that they had talked and I don’t have a copy of the letter. Is it standard practice for, let’s say, Doctor A to reach out and initiate conversations with Doctor B? I did let doctor A know I was going to Doctor B but it felt a little weird now knowing that their were conversations…perhaps innocent and well intentioned, but is that kind of thing permissible? I had signed an “Organized Health Care Arrangement” when I first started with Doctor A so may be he was allowed to do this? Is it standard practice? I just wasn’t aware that the conversations ever happened until I got my medical records months later.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I’m not an expert on HIPAA, but it sounds like an Organized Health Care Agreement would allow providers in your circle of care to talk to each other and share PHI (Personal Health Information).
It’s usually a good thing when health care providers share information with each other, and I know that the information I get from a referring physician is extremely helpful. Reading a copy of the Organized Health Care Agreement might be helpful in this case.
Kelly G. says
Thanks you!
Terra N. says
Hi. My sister is in Delaware in a medically induced coma as she had to be intubated due to pneumonia complications. I live in Maine and have called the hospital to check on her progress. I was denied information on my 3rd call due to HIPPA. She had completed the standard form and elected her husband and daughter to receive information. Unfortunately neither party is of much common sense or educated in any way and do not understand half of what they are told. They do not have the ability to ask pertinent questions about my sister’s care or to convey information to others. Although my sister and I have a strong bond, her husband and I do not get along. He is using this ‘new found power’ to vex me instead of thinking of my sister’s care and what is best for her. How can I get basic information regarding her progress?
Of course, when/IF she survives this, her & I will have a conversation about adding me to her list of authorized persons. What can I do now?
Thank you
Nicole Didyk, MD says
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister and I hope she recovers soon. That must be very frustrating to not be able to get information about her health right now.
I don’t know how you can circumvent the consent issues while your sister is unable to speak for herself, but you can certainly share your concerns with the hospital team. You could also share your list of questions with the husband and daughter, and it might help them to navigate the discussions that they have with the team. You could also ask them to write down the conversations they have with the health care team and share those with you.
I agree that it’s a good idea to talk to your sister about this when she’s well.
Sandee says
Hello. I came across your article while trying to find an answer to my question. I briefly scanned the questions posted but didn’t see anything similar – if I missed one, I apologize. I have an adult son who is mentally disabled – schizoaffective/mixed bipolar. I am his advocate, Rep Payee, and General Durable POA. I am NOT his guardian. He receives multiple services including Mental Health Skill Building Services. My son has signed a release so that they can speak to me. I have struggled with many of the skill builders and found some to be dishonest – for example, reporting more hours than given, so I try to keep good tabs on hours, progress, etc. One problem that I often run into is they do not communicate issues that I’ve requested – such as when my son cancels his meeting times with them. When I question this, I am told ‘your son told me not to tell you/or, not to speak to you’. My son denies this but it is quite possible that he is being dishonest or, with his short-term memory issues, does not remember doing so. What I am wondering is, which trumps which – does his verbal direction override the signed release on file? This is very difficult because I don’t know who to trust at times. Thank you for any advice you can offer.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
Hi Sandee and thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’re a very diligent care partner to your son!
I’m not a lawyer, and the answer to your question may depend on the wording of the signed consent, but my understanding of health privacy rules is that a person can withdraw consent at any time. So his verbal instruction to the provider may be an example of withdrawing consent, if temporarily.
Thanks again for visiting the website!
Brooke says
The last hippa form I signed was when I was 16. Aren’t doctors legally required to have you update a hippa form once you turn 18? I’m a bit confused on this.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
I’m afraid I don’t have much experience with HIPAA issues in younger adults. If someone was capable of signing a HIPAA form when they were 16, it may still be valid but I don’t know for sure.
Robert Gabriel says
Can a power of attorney prevent someone (whose POA has been activated) prevent the patient from adding someone to his Hippa? There are many extenuating circumstances but i want to keep it brief.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
Hi Robert and thanks for keeping it brief! I’m not a lawyer, but based on my understanding of HIPAA, it might depend on what the person’s POA document says, and how incapacitated the person is.
If a person isn’t capable of consenting to have a doctor disclose medical information, then their attorney can probably make that decision for them. But if they are capable, it’s up to them who they want to know their information. I always like to assume that a person is capable unless they are very incapacitated or at least assess if they are, before automatically deferring to the attorney.
Karen M says
My husband has been a paranoid schizophrenic for the last 18 years. He has been very good in signing the papers for me to speak with his caretakers in the psychiatric hospitals, but the last few times he has decided he will not allow me access to the doctors. My husband is a great actor and he will do whatever it takes to get out of the hospital- take his meds, go to groups, keep well and groomed. Once out of the hospital, he throws all his medications in the toilet and we have to start all over again. He is usually hospitalized 3 times a year. He is 70 now and is extremely paranoid and psychotic. I could write a book about what he has done and how reckless he is with money and his life. I would love to go on about his behavior, but it would take me 3 days to write. About 5 years ago, he had a patient advocate in a state hospital who told him to get my name off of the HIPPA release because all I want to do is keep him in the hospital. He removed my name, and I was unable to be a part of the team, go to court hearings and know when he was being released. I have been married to this man for over 40 years and to be treated like this is appalling, especially since I am the only one in his family that takes care of him. This year I filed for being his payee, which I received after much paperwork, but with plenty of documentation. Although I go to see him, the social worker will not call me back, tell me anything about his treatment or even who his doctor is. I have spoken to the social worker and told him about his history- but they are still giving him medication that does not work for him. He also no longer “acts” and he literally lives in another world in his head. I am a vision- not his wife when I go to visit, and he tells me he is married to Britney Spears (for many years). His brother has the ability to speak to the team- Michael authorized him to do that. I am trying to get guardianship for My husband, but I need 2 letters from 2 doctors- one being the attending doctor in the hospital (I already have another doctor from the PACT program he is involved with). The doctor refuses to sign an affidavit that my husband is incapable of taking care of himself and I am beyond words as to how to handle this. I have been trying to get guardianship for many years and have always gotten the run- around from the doctors. Since my brother-in-law is able to speak with the team, can’t he demand the doctor to provide him with his medical information for me to submit to a judge? All I want to do is give this man a quality of life for as long as I can, but the HIPPA, doctors and government agencies, along with the lawyers just turn their backs on me and treat my husband as if he is just another lunatic. My husband can’t even remember what he had for lunch, but has more rights than I do, except when it comes to having to pay the bills. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
Karen, I can’t imagine the stress of caring for your husband, who sounds as though he has been very ill. You have probably learned a lot about the privacy rules and regulations when there are people who have severe mental health issues, and I daresay you know more about it than most physicians!
It’s encouraging that your brother-in-law has a connection to your husband’s care team and if I were counselling someone in your situation, I would say that you’re on the right track trying to leverage his contact with the professionals. The brother probably has to follow what he thinks would be your husband’s wishes, so if he has been adamant about keeping you out of the loop, he might not be comfortable sharing information with you. I don’t know if you can legally apply to get the records you need, but a lawyer might.
Your situation sounds heart-breaking and I would suggest getting legal advice about the best way forward.
Karen M says
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my comment. I have been on the phone literally all day long trying to find an attorney for my case situation, which is unique. My brother-in-law is more than happy to share all the information he gets because he really does not want to get too involved with Michael’s illness. But out of all his siblings, he is the only one who has been taken some interest in his brother. This is why Michael signed over on the HIPPA to him. My husband was told by a patient advocate in a state hospital to get me off the list because all I want to do is to keep him in the hospital. I actually wrote letters to the facility for this mans misconduct, and although nothing there was no discipline to the advocate, this statement has stuck in my husbands head and he treats me now as if I am his enemy.
I am the only one who visits him, calls him and tries to help by calling the social worker telling him things like he does not swallow his pills (they finally realized this today when they finally caught him “cheeking” the pills- I told the social worker about this problem many times over the months he has been in there and yet they just caught it. I’m sorry- but it is good sometimes for me to vent and I very much do appreciate your advice. I will not let up on him- everyone else has. But I feel I took a vow in church and although I was a school teacher for 40 years, was not able to have children. I also strongly feel that God gave me this mission to take care of Michael and although it is now becoming a real struggle, I will see it through. I just wish the doctors would work with me and the law would not be so difficult on the caretaker. I am also getting professional help due to the depression this has all taken on me. Again, thank you for taking time out to respond to me. Karen M.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
I’m so glad you find this site helpful and that you’re being persistent. Make sure to look after yourself too, as you care for your husband.
Kris D says
I have the EXACT same problem as you.
First the doctor allowed me to tell him about the behaviors.
Now I am blocked from speaking at all and he is intercepting bills and hiding them.
The homeowners insurance was paid a month late with a ton of fees.
He still thinks he paid it on time, and actually wrote that on the CANCELLATiON NOTICE.
I took that to his doctor and they said to file a restaining order & nthen they will take him in and deal with it.
That sounds pretty extreme when a battery of memory tests would solve this without so much money or drama attached.
Mentally ill are allowed more rights than those whose lives are turned upside down, trying to deal with it.
My name is on the house, and my credit is going to go in the toilet over his DENIALS.
“He has to self report his illness”, is the dumbest thing any doctors office could say to me.
If they call saying something happened, I will now say, “I have no authority to deal with him, he removed my name, but feel free to “phone a friend,” since you enabled this.
BYE.
Nicole Didyk, MD says
That sounds so frustrating and I’m sorry that you’re hitting all of those roadblocks.
In some regions, family members can ask for a capacity assessment from a private or government capacity assessor (at their expense). This assessor can hone in on whether there are decision-making problems, regardless of any medical issues. Adult Protective Services can be helpful in cases of self-neglect or abuse as well.
I hope you can find some help.
Kimberly Jay says
Hi I just signed a health care power of attorney over to my husband so he can begin now making my health care choices does he need to be with me for every visit
Nicole Didyk, MD says
Good for you for getting your Power of Attorney organized. As long as you’re still capable of making health care decisions for yourself, you can attend medical appointments on your own, and your husband can step in if that changes. Again, if you’re capable you can decide who can attend your medical appointments and know your personal health details.
Andrea says
My husband and I go to the same chiropractor, who is also a friend of my husbands. Recently the office manager called my husband regarding my bill, instead of contacting me. I’m upset by this and did not give consent. Is this a HIPPA violation ?
Nicole Didyk, MD says
Billing information from a health encounter can be considered health information so yes, this sounds like a breach to me. Many office managers would probably assume that it’s OK to discuss such information with your husband but they really shouldn’t do so without at least your verbal consent.
Friend says
I have shared with my friend who is my doctors wife about a chronic condition in the past but then she started working in his office and now has been too much in my buisness and twisting things I say and questions I ask him related to that condition. He was always very conscious of not saying information in front of her without my permission but now I suspect they are talking about me behind my back. Is he allowed to talk to her about my case because she works there now? Do I have the right to inform him that I want info to her kept at a minimum?
Nicole Didyk, MD says
I think it depends on the wife’s role in the office. If she is part of your health care team (like a nurse or pharmacist) then she may have a need to know your medical information. Otherwise, health information should not be shared. It’s a little tricky if the information is something that you have shared with her in the past. If you are uncomfortable, you may be able to put additional privacy safeguards on your clinic chart, and the office manager may be able to help you with that.